Over the previous two months of Shanghai Expo operations, interesting testaments on the true nature of the Shanghai Expo have emerged to the extent that a vast majority consensus of would-be Expo tourists now cite “thumping stray cats with rolled up copies of Shanghai expat magazines” a more invigorating use of time. As an Expo News Correspondent of unquestionable taste, fashion, and dignity, MKFD feels obliged to share some of the more memorable ones he has heard.
For those of you who have no idea what the Expo is, just imagine a gigantic Disneyland, where each country has its own ride. However, these rides are actually just super boring and wasteful structures called ‘Pavilions’, which makes a trip to a dusty art museum look as interesting as partying on the moon with Pepsi and Doritos. Also, there are over half a million other people trying to get into these Pavilions, which creates waiting lines of anywhere between 5 and 8 hours. To complicate things, it’s 95 Fahrenheit with 100% humidity outside.
So having framed the Expo as it is, I will digress into some highlights:
1) A large & very reputable pavilion threatened to shut its doors if nothing was done to protect the “personal safety” of its employees. Apparently, because the line wait was so long, Expo-goers were beginning to verbally abuse, spit on, and physically attack pavilion workers. They were overwhelmed by the belief that it was actually the pavilion faculty conspiring to deny them entrance, rather than the fact that 600,000 people were at the Expo park that day.
2) One pavilion has a chairlift as its main attraction. The chair lift can only service 15,000 people in one day, as serving more than this would put unsavory stresses on the machine, and most likely lead to death & destruction. The problem arises when you take into account that this pavilion gets 50,000 visitors on a ‘normal day’. So basically, 35,000 people will be denied a ride on the funtime chairlift.
The following has been reported:
-People are stuffing their shirts in effort to appear pregnant, which induces sympathy, and, ideally, a cut in line.
-And old woman was not going to take no for an answer, and cut the line in her wheelchair. When turned away for cutting, she got out of the wheelchair, made a dash for the gate, but fell in the process. She later tried to sue the pavilion.
-Because of the fear of losing their place in a 5 hour line, people have been seen riding the chairlift with large urine stains on their crotch area.
God damn-it man! People need to stop shitting in our pavilion!
3) The most popular pavilion in the Expo averages an 8-9 hour wait. The Saudi Pavilion is popular because it has a really big TV screen, sand, and palm trees. After waiting 8 hours to spend 20 minutes inside the pavilion, one man opted to take a dump in the back of the TV screen auditorium. He had been, assumedly, holding it all day.
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lol….people really do some strange things….its weird…whats the whole point in seeing some cardboard of some countries design….people everywhere are same deep within, its just the outer covering thats make them different.
If they could go online and study about each countries history or watch on youtube it would be more usefull than waiting in live for 6-8 hours.
Anyways, even if i said that, if i was in Shanghai, even i would have gone just to have a look
Really? Why no picture of the USAP Staff? Russia?
unrelated.
MKFD is on “vacationary protest”
WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW, I seriously hope this is true. I sounds very familiar after my time being here.
Friends, it is all true.
Another one we heard is that a pavilion operator lead a line of angry expo-goers to the German pavilion, the catch was that he got them all to dance like chickens on the way over.
I was I could say I was joking.
I’ve heard from an employee that they regularly find poop and piss in and around the UK pavillion….even diarrhea once